Tantallon Victoria were formed on the 31t of January 2009 in The Sports Cafe on Sauchiehall Street, Glasgow and joined the Strathclyde Saturday Morning Amateur Football league in August the same year. The club takes it’s name from two streets in Shawlands – Tantallon Road and Victoria Road – which are in the area round Queen’s Park where we did our first pre-season.

The club plays it’s home games at The PSL Teamsports Arena on the southside of Glasgow and tries to play good football in the right spirit. We are proud of having had players from France, Denmark, Ireland, Romania and Zimbabwe as well as players of Italian, Polish and Irish heritage over the years, and promote grassroots football as a way to bring people together.

Since 2011 we have built up a passionate following and made many friends in the game through our Twitter. It has grown into one of the most popular non-professional football feeds in the country. In particular we have gained huge support and some dear friendships in The West Midlands of England with one of our oldest followers there dubbing us “The Biggest Black Country Team in Glasgow”.

The feed is there not just to promote us but to promote the playing of the game for it’s own sake – by Amateur and Juniors. We want to try and contribute to bringing more people back into the game. For this is what we are most passionate about – getting people involved and making friends in grassroots football.

We never take ourselves too seriously, we like a drink and a party, and we will always remain what we always have been – 20 pals kicking a ball about cos we love the game.

Thanks for visiting our site. Check out our sponsor pages, visit the club shop which helps support the club, and join us in season 2013-2014 as we go on another rollercoaster journey through grassroots football. Hopefully there will be a little glory on the way.


Davie Brown.

Chairman – Tantallon Victoria AFC

Westwood 3 Tantallon Victoria 4

Starting 11 vs Westwood

Subs: Haig, Lewicki, Pipkin, Proctor

Goals: Morrison, McGinty, Munro (2)


For a lot of people, the magic of football is dying. Watching clubs turn into companies filled with accountants instead of football people is soul destroying. Having your own history and culture sold back to you by people who see it’s value only in pound signs. The dream of a team of local boys done good trying to win a league or a cup for their home town is gone – at least in football’s upper echelons.

Down here in the grassroots, with the dingy changing rooms and the parks that look like World War One battlefields, the old passion burns strong. Every Saturday and Sunday thousands of men and women take to the field to try and live out their footballing dreams. My vision of Tantallon has always been to build a club that let guys get even a tiny taste of what it might have been like to make it. A club that people cared about and felt affection for and not just those who played for it. I always said I wanted a club that people would feel proud to have played for when they hung up their boots.

Most of the time under my tenure, the club struggled to even survive never mind anything else. This season Jan and Marky have led the guys to a cup semi final and mounted a challenge for the title that in the end will lead to a promotion. The progress that’s been made has been huge and enormous credit goes to the two guys and to every single player who has played for the club this season. Even Ross.

The last game of the 2013-2014 season saw The Tally travel to Westwood looking for a point to secure promotion (pending ratification at the league AGM and the stars being correctly aligned and Jan and Marky doing the special “Can We Have Promotion Dance” on the steps of Hampden Park in loincloth thongs). Westwood themselves were still in the hunt for second place and needed a typical Tally calamity to help them leapfrog us.

Tantallon took to the field in their yellow and green away kit without our talismanic striker Richie McQuade who’d got himself booked six times due to his concerns about potential injury ahead of his big money summer move to West Bromwich Albion. Keys took the number seven shirt and was deployed supporting our big fugging ginger number ten, Mo Morrison who was plowing a lone furrow up front. Williams and Devlin were the wide men in a midfield four with McGinty and Paul “The Panther” Munro while Joe Neeson came in for Rab Martin who was suspended for being an Aston Villa fan.

The match kicked off and within minutes it was clear there was to be much drama with both sides showing their determination to get a result. Morrison had the first real chance of the match driving into the box with a shout for a handball against the Westwood defender. He played to the whistle though and his left foot shot with the outside of his boot went just past the far post. It was just after this that Dave from Castlecroft phoned me so I got a bit distracted. Was good to get a wee catch up with him and we were talking about them maybe finishing fourth. Stuff was happening in the game and I assume it was exciting cos lots of people were shouting and stuff. I’d a can of Irn Bru in my pocket so I sparked that and chatted to Dave for a bit. There was more drama and shouting and appeals for something that wasn’t given then some grumbles and more shouting and I was still having a laugh with Dave and can’t remember what was happening. So nothing new there.

Tally took the lead fairly early on through Morrison with a headed goal from a cross from wide right guiding the ball into the corner of the net. Westwood soon replied with a goal from their number nine before taking the lead. The pressure was on.

We were hitting the bar, the post and when Scott Keys tried shots, the corner flags. We’d probably the better chances over the course of the game up to this point. We needed a goal to get back into it. So against the run of play Westwood of course scored one of the best goals I’ve ever seen in the flesh with a drive from outside the box that a Russian T-72 tank would have struggled to stop.  3-1 down. A few weeks earlier we’d missed out on reaching a final. After that we’d a wee wobble that saw us lose a couple that put us out the title race. At that moment when Westwood were celebrating that goal how many might be thinking “is it over?”. I gubbed half a bottle of valium to try and collect my thoughts.

This is the bit where we talk about your dreams when you take to that field on a Saturday. This is the bit where you fold or you stand up and be counted. This is the bit where someone playing in a public park, with their mates, for fun, cos they love football, cos they love their club does something that makes them a real football hero. Not for money. Not for fame.

This is the bit Chris McGinty finally scores a goal for The Tally.

A corner kick. Floated into the back post. McGinty has already leathered the bar with a half volley. He’s there and unmarked and heads it home from five yards. A glimmer of hope.

Jan had been consulting “The Ladybird Book of Football” and his 1962 Panini Sticker Album and decided the best thing to do was to swap Keys and The Panther. Haigy was put on for Gav who had run his socks, shorts, shirt, boots, shinpads and He-Man y-fronts off and the game opened up a bit with Panther running the channels and pulling the home defence AOTS.

Morrison picked up the ball about 30 yards out (roughly at the halfway line considering the size of the park) and rode a couple of challenges before squaring a ball to the back post. There was The Panther who bundled the ball home for the equaliser. All we had to do was hold on and we’d have the point we needed to go up (subject to the correct application of any relevant rules and procedures and votes).

I wonder what Paul was thinking then when soon after he wrote himself into the pages of Tally history when he sent a fizzing drive into the back of the net to make it 4-3. I’d like to think he realised that not just around that park in East Kilbride but hundreds of miles away people were celebrating that goal. That it meant something to them. That a proper football dream was happening. That it brought some joy to peoples’ lives. That for that fleeting second he was a hero just like his heroes. That’s what The Tally, and grassroots football, is about.

The final whistle. We hadn’t won a trophy but as a group of players we’d achieved something. For most of the time the club has been going we’d never have thought we’d have a season like this one has been.

This is my last season running the club. Everything I’ve seen this season lets me leave it knowing it’ll continue to be the same club with the same ethos. It’ll be fun. We’ll laugh at ourselves. We’ll have a good bunch of guys. We’ll be pally with other teams and try and help each other. We’ll try our best to deliver some success for those who support us. We’ll celebrate being Glasgow’s Biggest Black Country Club. We’ll love our West Brom fans. We’ll share our journey through the parks of the West Of Scotland with people across the UK and beyond.

Cos as football at the top level becomes more and more about money it’s up to us grassroots clubs – ammys, juniors, women, non-league – to show what the game was always supposed to be about.

Every team in the world started as a bunch of folks who bought a set of strips and found somewhere to play there games. Your club and efforts are worth as much as any others. Never forget that.

Thanks to everyone who’s made running this team so much fun especially to those who have stuck their hand in their pocket to sponsor it. I don’t need to say please continue to back Jan and The Tally cos I know better than anyone that once it’s in your blood it doesn’t come back out. I will always be a Tally supporter and there will always be a Tally.

Want a club that’s a bit different to play for next year?

You’ve found it.

Yours in football.

Davie Brown

Chairmon (ret)

Tantallon Victoria AFC

Challenge Cup Semi Final Squad vs Firhill United



As the season draws to the close every game becomes bigger than the last with the club still in the mix on two fronts. Saturday beings our first ever cup semi final against First Division side Firhill United. The game takes place at Toryglen Football Centre this Saturday morning with a 9.30 ko.

All of us, management, players and supporters have a part to play in what is the biggest game in our history.

If you can make it along then please come down and support the boys.

Team from:-

  • Stephen Cunningham
  • Gavin Devlin
  • Gordon Haig
  • Thomas Jamieson
  • Scott Keys
  • Ross Lewicki
  • Robert Martin
  • Mo Morrison
  • Paul Munro
  • Richie McQuade
  • Joe Neeson
  • John Neeson
  • Chris Reilly
  • Darren Shearer
  • Jimmy Wilson
  • John Williams

#TallyCupFever #WeAreAllTallyVics #McBoingMcBoing

Kelvinbridge 1 Tantallon 3

Starting 11 vs Kelvinbridge

Substitutions: Proctor (Wilson), John Neeson (Martin), Pvt. J. Thomson of the 325th Invermuckle and District Volunteer Rifles (McQuade).

Goals: Devlin (2), McQuade.

The club was handed a huge boost ahead of the game by managing to hold on to Quado during the January window. This was despite unrelenting rumours (which we were the source of tbf)  linking him with a big money move to West Brom. Fortunately for us the “have to come to training” clause in the contract offered ensured he stayed with us here in the land of The Wild Haggis.

Joe Neeson was given a start in place of Ross Lewicki who has problems off the field at the moment and is embroiled in a court case in Poland with toilet roll manufacturer Kupka concerning breaches of his obligations under a sponsorship deal. Paul Munro made his competitive debut for the club at centre back and had turned up in a hoody he’d bought from the club shop after signing. Thought that was brilliant I did. He got a mug as well.

Aside from this it’s a settled side at the moment for The Tally with only injury, toothache and stag do’s upsetting team selection. Settled is not a word that could be used to describe the weather at Nethercraigs. By far the coldest day of the season so far with horizontal rain leading to everyone trying to hide behind Tank on the sidelines.

The game kicked off with The Tally playing some nice stuff despite the weather and we were camped in their half for much of the first ten minutes. The game evened out though and was pretty open and end to end at times. We had chances with McQuade putting one just past the post but the Kelvinbridge keeper was on good form and was well positioned to take the shots we did get in. The game was tied at 0-0 at half time and there really needs to be more tea on the sidelines cos I was baltic. I couldn’t even tweet with the rain on the screen. Hands were like blocks of ice. Slim took the nip with me cos I didn’t want a cup of the soup he’d brought. Probably should have had some.

Second half then and the feeling was a goal was coming. Gav had been putting in his usual all action performance battling away up front saying “I know mate” every time Richie moaned (hard work in itself) and he broke the deadlock by spinning a man and driving to the box – slamming the ball past the keeper at the near post. A second soon followed and West Brom would have been disappointed to see the truly world class standard of finishing that could have been theirs for only 50 cases of Tennents. Rounding the keeper with a defender in close attendance Quado hit an absolute trundler. Fortunately it was at least in the direction of the goal despite travelling at less that 1mph. A defender had raced back and jumped round onto the line looking absolutely certain to clear it when the ball hopped over his foot and the ball was in the net.

We need to talk about young Sam.

What’s the worst miss you’ve ever seen in your life? Over the bar from in the six yard box? Open goal and past the post?

Something like that?

How about…how about running into the box and Gav winning the ball off the keeper. It squirms loose. No one is near it and it’s right in your path. You’ll be first there. It’s an open goal. It’s fugging gaping it is. You cannot miss.

Unless you’re Sam. If you’re Sam you run up to the ball, miss it, and then fling yourself on the ground.

Afterwards he said he thought he’d scored and it was “a Klinsman”. I worry about that boy.

Gav made sure of the result with a second goal that Quado’s girlfriend didn’t believe he’d scored. The team report card was only smudged by conceding a goal with the final kick of the ball. Actually head of the ball.

The win sees Tally sitting at the top of the table with a game away from home against second place Westwood this coming Saturday. It’ll take a massive performance to keep our good run in the league going.

Tantallon 3 Kelvinbridge 1

Starting 11 vs Kelvinbridge

Substitutes: Williams (Proctor), Moses (Wilson), Joe Neeson (Lewicki), John Neeson, Marky Thomson

Goals: Morrison, Proctor, #McQuadeForAlbion


Tantallon welcomed Kelvinbridge to The PSL Teamsports Arena this Saturday morning for the first clash between the two sides in the league this season. An earlier meeting over two legs in The Presidents cup saw a win apiece and a thrilling 10-9 penalty shootout.

Tantallon made only one change from last weekend’s victory away against Bengal with Haig coming in for Devlin who had a nipple strain he picked up doing something no-one was brave enough to ask him about.

The game kicked off and it was an even contest with both teams having spells of pressure. Chances came for the home side with Morrison hitting the far post with a stinging drive and Cunningham putting the ball over the bar from seven yards. The game was a real battle and not the prettiest to watch with little space on a tight park.

In the dying embers of the first half the ref awarded a very soft  free kick to Kelvinbridge around 25 yds from goal. The big Brummie lad Lee that plays at the back is actually a stick on to score against us when you think about it, eh? Sure enough, he stepped up and fired a shot which moved in the air causing  Shearer in goal to misjudge it and the visitors had the lead.

There was only time to take centre before the halftime whistle and the players came off to a very calm and positive half time teamtalk by Jan who told the guys that if they worked harder they would win.

The second half kicked off with The Tally shooting towards The Black Country End and early on got back on level terms. Morrison won a Sam Proctor corner in the box in the air and feeling the ball bounce at the back of his leg he spun and swung a boot at the ball to leave it nestling in the back of the net. A fantastic second half team performance was capped with brilliant individual ones from Morrison, Haig and McGinty. Morrison was enjoying one of his best games in recent weeks dictating the play for Tally and working hard to win the ball back when needed. Haig worked tirelessly up front and linked up well with McQuade while McGinty was another driving force in midfield covering every blade of grass to make tackles. At the back the home side were dominant and Martin, Cunningham and Reilly were the first to every ball forward while left back and Poland’s Greatest Ever Utility Player ™ Ross Lewicki asked if anyone on the sideline had a fag.

Proctor put Tally in the lead with a simple finish at the back post thanks to a great ball in from Morrison. We kept going looking for a third goal feeling we needed it to be sure of the result. When it came it was thanks to future West Bromwich Albion striker Richie McQuade who scored one of the best goals so far this season. Williams who had come on for Proctor picked up the ball wide left and floated an ball over the Kelvinbridge defence to McQude who let fly from 25 yards. The ball flew arrow straight smashing in off the underside of the bar. This kind of finishing  is in direct contrast to efforts from Mo and Ross prior to it. Mo had struck the ball from about five yards outside the box and hit the corner flag at one point. That’s pretty wild shooting.

Let’s talk about Ross’s miss though. One on one with the keeper. It’s a certain goal. It’s an invitation to score the position he’s in, right? I mean honestly. Even the most Doc Martin wearing centre half in the world is going to put this away.

What does Ross do? Rolls it back to the keeper. Proper rolls it. Like “Mr Goalkeeper here’s the ball back and you can have a wee kick at it if you want!”. Everyone was embarrassed for him. The teams on the next park were laughing and stuff. And that was an under 9′s game.

Three points on the board and won with a bit of style about our football second half. There will be a few more battles like this to be won before the end of the season.

Bengal Lancers 2 Tantallon 4

Starting 11 vs Bengal Lancers 11JAN14


Substitutions:- Joe Neeson (Ross Lewicki), Gordon Haig (Jimmy Wilson), Johnny Williams, (Sam Proctor), Moses (Mo Morrison), Pipkin (Robert Martin)

Goals: Morrison, McQuade (3)

Chairmon’s Man Of The Match – McQuade

Manager’s Man of The Match – McGinty


The club has been rocked to it’s core over the past two weeks with the “Training-gate” scandal. Firstly, last week,  Marky had to be treated for shock when Richie actually turned up to training. He only just got over this in time for when Richie turned up for training again the following week. There’s probably something in the bible about if he turns up a third time in a row. Fire and brimstone. Sky falling in. End of Days stuff.

The astro park the game was scheduled to be played on was called off early and Bengal were brilliant getting another park over at Loretto for the game to go ahead. The ref was happy to delay the kick off too so a convoy snaked across north Glasgow and out to Bishoppbriggs. The park thawed to a nice mush in time for a 10.30 kick off.

The manager named an unchanged 11 from the friendly win against Windlaw last week with a full bench of subs. He’s a tough job on his hands at present with every one of our 24 players wanting to make the match squad and we traveled with a full bench.

The game started with a bit of football from both sides but it was clear from the start the  pitch would cut up badly and that a battle would have to be fought as the conditions deteriorated. Snow and sleet was soon falling as Tantallon took the lead through Morrison. Proctor floated in a left footed free kick towards the pelanty spot and Morrison timed his run to meet it and power home the opener with his left foot. Bengal levelled the score with a ball over Reilly’s head from wide which crept in at the back post with Shearer caught flat footed. The home side increasingly went long with Tally trying to hit them on the break. McGinty, who was industrious in the midfield, had a strike from distance and there was still enough of a pitch for passing Tally’s way to a couple of decent attacking moves.

McQuade handed Tantallon the lead again before halftime with Proctor winning the ball from the Bengal keeper and squaring it to the future West Bromwich Albion striker who took a touch and lashed the ball home. Halftime came with the score still 2-1 to The Tally.

The second half was a battle from the start with players on both sides soon caked head to toe in mud. At one point Devlin fell on his face and stood up with it coated in mud like something out a 70′s TV comedy. Neeson came on for Lewicki who had hamstring trouble, and wanted a fag, filling the right back slot with Martin moving left. Bengal were going long and early and we were hemmed in for periods of the game having to defend as a single unit. They kept up the pressure scoring an equaliser through a stramash in the box. The ball was knocked to a Bengal player who the boys felt was offside but who slotted home for 2-2.

Williams replaced Proctor and Tantallon started to get out of our own half more often and in the ascendancy, Haig replaced Wilson going out wide left. Neeson had quickly got up to speed with the game and it was his ball from wide that found McQuade who turned and put Tally back in front. Moses replaced Morrison and had an immediate impact on the game playing well and helping us start more attacks. Martin was replaced with young Pipkin who went up front with McQuade. With only minutes to go Tantallon ensured all three points. Devlin, who had moved wide left drove into the box and was bearing down on the keeper when a mistimed challenge brought him down. McQuade made it three for him with the resultant pelanty kick.

4-2 to The Tally then and another three points in the league. Thanks to James and Doxy from Maryhill Black Star for coming down and supporting the team and to those following from afar for all their Tweets.

See before I go – our boots are ridiculous by the way. Roddy will be seething when he sees it. Some of them are like clown shoes. Reilly’s are like green disco balls. #ffs #sake

Tantallon Victoria 11 Hardgate 0

Starting 11 vs Hardgate 14th December 2013


It’s a long time since I wrote a match report. Pretty poor from me tbh. Here’s a number of excuses why it’s not been done. Feel free to pick the one you like the best to settle your mind about it and then we can all move on and I’ll promise to do them every week:-

  • I thought it was to be done for next week
  • Jan was steaming and spilled lethal Polish vodka on the Tally server
  • The dog ate my keyboard
  • Tank ate my keyboard
  • I forgot the site password
  • Tank ate the site password
  • I thought someone else was doing them
  • Tank ate the person who was supposed to be doing them

Right that’s the excuses out the way – let’s be honest.

We haven’t been hitting the heights of earlier in the season and the last time we played Hardgate from a commanding position of leading 3-0 in that game we hit the self destruct button in classic Tally style. A 3-3 draw was the result and in the games that followed we crashed to two defeats against team’s called “Villa”. As you can imagine I spent many hours lying in a darkened room as a result of this and cringing every time Collymore came on Talkshoite. Then our wonderful manager signed a right back who is an Aston Villa fan…


Football comes in cycles though, eh? The good times are only so sweet because the bad times taste like pickled nettle soup. Saturday was to be the day of our Christmas Party – we had our friend Matt Danks, the Charimon of Tipton Town coming up for the weekend and a lad from Leicestershire travelling to see us while groundhopping in Glasgow – we needed a win to get back on track.

The weather wasn’t too bad setting up the goals but the wind soon got up and the rain came down heavily. It was brutal stood at the side of the park and the visitors had the advantage of the wind. We had chances but it was important to keep things together at the back. Step up Chris Reilly who had a magnificent 45 minutes winning everything that came his way with his partner (not his lover though #FastShow) Stephen “Laurie” Cunningham also in majestic form. Our Seal loving full back Rab Martin has settled in well and chipped in with a few acrobatic clearances.

We had chances but didn’t take them until we took the lead with a McQuade penalty late on in the half. After four attempts to get the ball to stay on the spot the future West Bromwich Albion striker slammed the ball home for 1-0.

Jan did his magic at half time – doing a couple of neat card tricks, doing that one where you guess which cup has a ball under and sawing Marky in half on the touchline – before sending the boys out to work for the three points.

It had been a pretty even game first half but an avalanche off six goals in eight minutes ensured the points would be going to The Tally. Wilson struck first before McQuade netted twice for the hatrick and 23 goals for the season. Two goals for Super Gav came either side of an own goal which Wilson ridiculously tried to claim. Our eighth goal of the game saw an assist for stand in keeper The Tank who launched the ball the length of the field to Proctor who deftly flicked it into the far corner for his second goal in two games.

Big Danks was on his third Tally night out in a row and had only two wishes – “A Big Mo goal and a Thommo goal”. Mo struck minutes later beating the keeper from around the penalty spot and Thommo right after rifling the ball into the top of the net from outside the box. There was only time for young Eddie Muirhead to do a Mark Burchill, coming on for our talismanic striker he scored his first goal for the club to make it 11-0 tally and a record win.

A fantastic result then in terrible conditions – the team showed real passion and desire thoughout. It’ll take some result to ever top this one and every single player who played deserves credit for their efforts for their wee fitbaw club.

The night out was fugging mental by the way. I mean seriously insane. If you could win the Champions League based on ability to party then we’d win it every year. Team of lunatics. Especially that Chairmon biff. #ffs #sake

Man of The Match – Jimmy Wilson

Goals – McQuade (3), Devlin (2), Wilson, OG, Proctor, Morrison, Thomson, Muirhead.

Westerlands 3 – Tantallon Victoria 2

Starting 11 vs Westerlands

Subs – Andy Cannon, Gordon Haig (Gavin Devlin), Neil McGinley (Ramsay-Lewis), John Neeson, Thomas Jamieson.

Goals: Morrison, #McQuadeForAlbion

Tally were unfortunate not to secure at least a replay against a very good Westerlands side in The Scotchland Cup. Westerlands, who are a Glasgow University Alumina side, have a history which stretches back to 1967 – coincidentally a special year for manager Jan Lewicki. For it was in that year, as the sprightly young 32 year old center half he was then, Jan lifted the Polish National Fisherman’s Cup in front of a capacity crowd on the red ash park next to Lodz docks despite  scoring two own goals, conceding a penalty and being sent off.


We were looking for a speedy start this week but Chris Reilly started too early, being caught breaking the 30 limit on the way to the game he went into some other kind of man in black’s book than normal. I assume he didn’t argue about it for five minutes like usual as he still made the game. The match kicked off and we could see we were up against a good side with a game plan and we had to get to grips with lots of long diagonal balls out wide. A very eachy-peachy first half progressed with Tantallon thinking we should have taken the lead having settled in well. Reilly hit the post with Keys there to follow up but his effort was judged not to have crossed the line despite the opposition defender clearing the ball from two yards past the line.

We might argue that we’d had slightly better the chances come half time then and the second half we went out determined to get something out of the game. If you could bet on our games you’d always want to bet an opposition player for first goalscorer. Sticking to the script a ball out wide put the winger in behind Lewicki (the good looking one) and we didn’t really recover the situation quickly enough before there was a shot at goal and the home side had the lead.

It was less than a minute though before we were back all square. Knocking the ball about on the left young Ramsay-Lewis picked up the ball and drew a couple of players in. Morrison was in space inside of him and took the square pass. At this point Mo is thinking “What’s the best thing to do here?”. Having thought about being 35 years from goal and with space to run into with the ball, the big fellah decided the best thing to do was to send a rocket straight into the top left hand corner leaving the keeper absolutely no chance from exactly where he was standing. So he took a touch. And did it.

For a minute I actually thought he’d celebrate it. He got absolutely mobbed after it went in. Brilliant spirit.

The game really could go either way now. Westerlands scored again but heads never went down and we went at them again with Morrison turning provider this time with a great pass into the box for McQuade. Quado held off a defender, took the ball round the keeper and slotted home a deft finish for our second equaliser of the game. Haig was introduced for Devlin second half and Ramsay-Lewis came off for McGinley. With the game going into the last five a draw looked a fair result with a replay to come. Unfortunately we switched off at a corner and Westies won the game with a header from six yards out.

We were fantastic as a team today though and really enjoyed the game. Couple of the guys have said they fancy another game against Westerlands in the future and I agree. Good luck to them for the rest of the season and thanks for the great hospitality.

Thanks to all who came down to watch and support!



Tantallon Victoria 2 – Bengal Lancers 1

Starting 11 vs Bengal Lancers

Goals: #McQuadeForAlbion, Reilly.

Substitutes: Scott Keys (Thomson), Gordon Haig (Bonacorrsi), Neil McGinley, John Neeson, Jan Lewicki (Wim Doomed)

A game in which… For the second week on the trot we played a striker who was wearing the number six. I’m not going to go on about this excessively or anything but COME ON. Six is a centre half or a defensive mid. At a push I’d cope with number six out wide but I’d be wincing. Six up front I’m throwing a berky. I mean six. UP FRONT.


The match kicked off with Tantallon attacking The David Smith End but it was to be a first half which belonged to Bengal. Probably cos they didn’t have number six playing as a striker. Bengal worked tirelessly to deny us space and press the ball and got it forward and wide quickly for willing runners. The home side looked out of sorts and tried to claw a way into the match despite having number six playing as a striker. Bengal were frustrating opponents and deserve credit for the way they defended corners and set pieces around the box flooding the six yard box with players to win the ball in the air. It was a dogged display from the visitors and out lack of passing and talking led to a scrappy match where chances for us were few and far between.

When we went back to front quickly we had our best chances of the first half with Thommo being on the end of our two best ones. The first was a long ball to the back post which was just too far ahead of the big striker (WHO WAS WEARING SIX REMEMBER) for him to get more than the merest of touches on. The second was another long ball which put him in a one on one with the keeper. As the ball came down Thommo struck it putting it over the bar, clearly confused by the number on his back.

Bengal capped off a good first half for them by taking the lead. Last ditch defending from us and a stramash in the box ended up with a Bengal player, who wasn’t wearing six up front, lashing the ball past Shearer in the Tantallon goal. Manager Jan Lewicki had the hairdryer out at half time then, and after he’d finished blow drying assistant Marky’s wig, he told the players he was a bit disappointed in our first half display and asked them if they would kindly play a little better in the second half if it wasn’t too much trouble.

Finally seeing the insanity of having a striker wearing number six a single change at half time saw Thomson replaced by Keys and Tally going more 4-5-1 with Quado as the lone striker and Morrison supporting. Keys and Wilson took control of the midfield and Tantallon control of the match. A series of corner kicks were signs that a goal was coming and eventually it did. A long throw from The Brazilian Enclosure initially came right across the box to McQuade who went for the spectacular with a scissor kick. Don’t let Quado fool you into thinking it then flew into the top corner as the visitors keeper possibly might feel he could have done better to stop what really was a trundler that squirmed it’s way into the back of the net for 1-1. The poor guy was probably still in shock that a team would have a striker who wore number six.

Keys came close with a stinging drive which curled at the last milli-second to go past the left hand post. The guys from Maryhill Black Star had come down to support us – great sporting gesture which we returned in the afternoon – and had already decided that Chris Reilly should be Man of The Match. It proved a fantastic choice as it was our own Rio who popped up with the winner turning another long throw inside the far post. It was another trundler to be fair and seemed to take an age to go in but we deserved a bit of luck for the effort and team spirit we had shown in the second half.

A win when not playing particularly well then but lots of praise to the guys for digging in second half and getting the result.

Moment to savour… Celebrations for Reilly’s winner were magic (but his boots are still awful).

Head in hands moment… Number six up front. Gav even says in the dressing room “Why am I wearing nine out on the wing? It’s daft. You’ve got six up front Jan. What the hell’s that all about?”. He’s right you know.

PSL Teamsports Heros… Reilly held it together at the back for us and Keys made the difference second half. We’re lucky to have them.

On the sidelines… Great to have the Motown loving Maryhill boys on the sidelines with us – defo what proper football is all about. Was delighted to return the gesture in the afternoon (even though I missed the first half cos I went to Lochinch instead of Milton…)

Guys at Bengal are brand new and enjoyed speaking to them about the cost of Scottish Cup ties after the match. Look forward to two more action packed games against them this season. Good luck to them till then.

Tantallon Victoria 6 – Hardgate 1

Starting 11 vs Hardgate


Substitutes – Davie Bonacorrsi (Ramsay-Lewis), Haig (Thomson), McGinley (MacKay), Muirhead (Devlin), Marky Thompson.

Goals: Reilly, #McQuadeForAlbion (4), Devlin (Chairmon’s Dubious Goals Panel Decision)

A game in which… The Tally made it three without defeat to carry on what has been our best ever start to a season. With Wilson suspended and Keys and Moses unavailable the management went for a four man midfield with MacKay (little) and Morrison (large) holding the centre of the park. Thomson returned to partner McQuade up front after a spell out serving pints to bored old men, checking his coupon and destroying his liver on a stag night in Liverpool. Lewicki moved forward into midfield with Jordan Ramsay-Lewis, who has a name that would make you sign him when playing lower league management on FM, making his competitive home dayboo at left back.

The Tally started slower than an old Rover on a cold December morning spending the first ten minutes camped in their own half. Struggling to keep the ball Hardgate went on the offensive and were rewarded with an early goal when something happened that will keep Cunningham off Twitter for the next three days. Trying to knock the ball past a forward it instead landed at the opponents feet and he smashed it home to take the lead. This woke the home side up out of our Saturday morning slumber and within minutes we were level when Reilly reacted first to a Ross Lewicki corner which the visitors failed to clear with a good finish from inside the six yard box in spite of the worst pair of boots I’ve ever seen.

Tally’s tails were up and they added a second when a long ball from Morrison deflected off Thomson into the path of McQuade who ran in to finish. It was only minutes before he added a second. Slipping the ball to Morrison who had his back to goal he continued his run. Morrison back heeled the ball into the box with the perfect weight and pace for McQuade to run on to for a typically clinical finish. Tally were dominant now and when Thomson hit the byline to cut the ball back it was McQuade again who was there for a simple tap in and his hatrick.

A three goal lead to take into the second half then but Hardgate were far from done and they battled for everything with the home side being put under pressure at times. Shearer in goal made three or four top drawer saves to deny the visitors including a great tip over the bar.  Clear cut chances to put the game to bed were at a premium. No game is dead in amateur football with a three goal lead, especially not for Tally teams past. The players kept working though and were eventually rewarded with a goal when Devlin bustled past a couple of defenders and tried to put the ball into the six yard box from a tight angle on the left. The ball deflected off a Hardgate defender and into the net. Was it his goal? Was it on target or was it a cross? To me it looked like it might have went in at the back post so we’ll give him it. I’m generous like that.

McQuade capped a Chairmon’s Mon of The Match performance off with a fourth goal late on.

Speaking after the game McQuade talked us through the goal. “Chris punted the ball up to me and I just ran. I was going to cut it back to Thommo…but I just smashed it in. Lol.”

Changes were made with Bonacorrsi (the one with the hairband not the one with the Pirlo haircut) McGinley, Muirhead and new signing Haig all coming on for the home side. The changes didn’t upset the balance, commitment or shape of the team with all but McGinley, who just concentrated on buzing about the park winning the ball back, being unlucky not to grab a goal.

A good solid home win for The Tally then. Teams play each other three times this season and we’ll have two very tough games against Hardgate to come later in the season.

Moment to Savour… Quado’s second goal was a peach – real class from him and Big Mo.

Head in Hands Moment… First ten minutes were a bit draining but what followed more than made up for it. Need to start better.

PSL Teamsports Heros… Tried to sell Quado to The Albion for £6m but they’ve not got back to me yet. He’s not worth £6m though – to us he’s priceless and it’s good to see him enjoying his football. Mo and Davie in the centre of the park were fantastic and Darren, Reilly and Stegsy are our backbone. Every single player in a yellow and green shirt could take something really positive away from their performance. Even Ross.

On the sidelines… Top marks to Alex for bringing the Swizzle mix sweeties today which were BOSS. It’s great to see injured players coming down to support the team cos no one wants to miss the action. Credit to the guys who are subs at the moment – there’s no moaning at all – in fact it’s the opposite. Team spirit is superb so lets keep it that way. I’m sure we will.